Cleaned & corrected by Tronar
Ernie Els, who missed eight fairways on the back 9,
still managed to finish the day one under par
to stay within three strokes of the leader, Tiger Woods,
who some of you may have heard of.
That's all for us.
Don't forget tomorrow's a big day
as "March Madness" heads into the ronde de seize.
You can join us starting at 3:00 tomorrow
when Dan and I will begin our continuing coverage
of the Sweet 16.
We'll be joined by analysts in the field
and our own Bobbi Bernstein
right here in the studio.
The fun starts tomorrow afternoon at 3:00,
and we'll be with you right through till 11:00 P.M.
You've been watching "Sports Night" on CSC.
- Have a good night. - Good night.
- Music. - Go.
- Animation. - Go.
We're out.
- Whoa! - Take it easy.
- Whoa! - Dan.
When did this happen?
You're talking about Bobbi Bernstein?
Yes, I am... yes, I am talking about Bobbi Bernstein.
I guess Dana forgot to tell you.
Yes, I guess she did, Casey. I guess she forgot to tell me.
Oh, hey, you know what, Dan?
I forgot to tell you about Bobbi Bernstein.
- Yes, you did. - Bobbi's sitting in for Jack.
What's wrong with Jack?
- He's sick. - How sick?
He's got flu-like symptoms.
Oh, honestly, who doesn't?
What's the problem with Bobbi Bernstein?
There's no problem.
- She's good. - She's very good.
She knows college basketball.
She's very good.
Listen, Isaac's gonna want to show us pictures from his vacation.
So I'm gonna get a "Welcome Back" cake,
and we'll have a little party in his office tomorrow.
What kind of cake?
- What kind of cake? - Yes.
I don't know, Casey. Why do you ask?
I'm particular about cake,
and I have to say it's been my experience that men buy better cake than women.
I've found that women tend to get these yogurt-frosted, low-cal things.
laced with a rum-and-fruit concoction
that make eating cake into something you do to be polite.
So that's why I was asking what kind of cake
you were planning on getting to celebrate Isaac's return from vacation.
Wow. I didn't know you felt so strongly about it.
But now that I do, I guess the answer is... whatever cake I damn please.
Excellent.
Bobbi's coming in from St. Louis.
She'll be here a little before 3:00.
- Good. - There's no problem with Bobbi?
- No, ma'am. - Good.
I'd go for it.
Dana.
- Can you believe I get a whole little cake speech from that guy? - Yeah.
I mean, is there anything he won't make a speech about?
Is there anything he won't sit in judgment on?
I mean, I am sorry to end two sentences in a row with a preposition like that,
- but no kidding, Danny... - Dana.
- Yeah? - Hi.
Hi.
Here's the thing...
Bobbi and I have a very peculiar relationship.
- I didn't know you had a relationship. - We don't.
- I'm confused. - You and me both.
Dan...
When I tell people this, they don't believe me.
They think I'm lying.
Don't be ridiculous, Dan. Of course I'm gonna believe you.
You say that now, and that's nice,
but when I say what I'm gonna say, you're not gonna believe me.
- I'll believe you. - Really?
I'm standing here telling you I'll believe you.
Bobbi Bernstein is convinced that a long time ago in a hotel room in Spain
she and I slept together and that I never called her again.
Now, three things are important.
I've never met Bobbi Bernstein
till she started doing fieldwork here for the show,
I've never slept with Bobbi Bernstein,
and I have never been to Spain.
Thank you for believing me.
Danny... you never called her?
- Dana, you just said that... - A woman likes a phone call, Danny.
All right, listen... and there's something
with the stuff you guys are putting in your hair.
Let me tell you something. I put nothing in my hair.
I was born with this hair, and not enough people know that.
Rebecca's gonna be here tomorrow.
- Rebecca, by the way, colors her hair. - Dana, what...
She's a lovely woman, but I'm saying that is not her natural hair color.
Nonetheless, I think I'd like to keep her on as my girlfriend.
Rebecca and I are in a very delicate period of our relationship,
and if she's standing around while Bobbi Bernstein's launching into arias
about how I never called her after sleeping with her in Spain...
- You should have called her. - I didn't sleep with her.
Flowers wouldn't have killed you.
You're gonna be no help, are you?
It doesn't look like it, does it?
No.
Chocolate cake...
chocolate-filled, chocolate-frosted, chocolate cake.
I'm just saying.
There are days...
days that separate
the men from the Men.
The men from the men?
That's right.
- What does... - The second "Men" was with a capital "M".
- Ah. - There are these days.
This is one of those days.
You should enjoy the moment.
What moment?
This moment... the Sweet 16.
Expanded coverage... don't you love expanded coverage?
Yes.
All day and all night... a foxhole mentality.
Enjoy this moment.
Casey.
I'm pumping up the troops.
- That's great. Let me talk to you. - All right.
While I'm gone, everyone should continue enjoying the moment.
Listen to this... this is all I want to say,
and then I'm not gonna say anything else.
I just went down to Rebecca's office,
and Steve Sisco was there.
Expanded coverage all day and all night.
Maybe I'll talk about it a little bit more than that.
- Steve Sisco's in her office? - Yes.
- On a Saturday? - Yes.
What is Steve Sisco doing in her office on a Saturday?
Who cares if it's Saturday? What's Steve Sisco doing in her office?
Hey, Rebecca, Steve Sisco, Bobbi Bernstein...
You're gonna have quite a little day.
- Yeah, but I'm not talking about it. - Good.
- I'm not thinking about it. - Good.
- We've got a lot of hours on the air today. - That's right.
- The point is Steve Sisco was in Rebecca's office on a Saturday. - ...on a Saturday.
- My girlfriend's ex-husband was in her office on a Saturday, and I'm fine. - Good.
And I'm not saying I'm fine in that dramatic way
that's obviously meant to indicate that I'm not fine.
That's not what I meant when I said I'm fine.
- What did you mean? - I meant I'm fine.
Okay.
- I am. - Excellent.
- Look at me. - I am.
- Don't I look fine? - You look good.
- I do. - You're a good-looking man, Danny.
Moreover, my girlfriend's in her office talking to her ex-husband,
it's all happening on a Saturday, and guess what.
- You're fine? - I'm fine.
I just want you to know
how frightened I am with today's broadcast.
Yeah, I hear you.
A little higher.
- Me? - Jeremy.
- Higher? - Yes.
- There? - Too high.
Actually, wait.
Yes, Natalie, you go higher. Right there.
- Good? - Yes.
We can come down now?
By all means, take a look. I like it.
I like the visual image, don't you?
- The city skyline... the banner. - Yes.
Now here's the thing.
- What? - I'm not wild about the text.
- The text? - Yeah.
- It says, "Welcome back." - Right.
- What's the problem? - I don't know.
It's a little on the nose, don't you think?
- "Welcome back"? - Yeah.
- Do I think it's on the nose? - Yeah.
I suppose I do.
- But it doesn't bother you? - Not that much.
You know who it would bother?
- Who? - Casey.
I think it would bother Casey.
I find Casey to be judgmental, and in my case,
I find him to be hyper-judgmental.
Did he say something about your hair?
No, he said something about...
Wait. What would he say about my hair?
Listen to this... and this is all I'm gonna say. Then it's the end of it.
Steve Sisco is with Rebecca in her office right now.
- Really? - Yeah.
On a Saturday?
- What the hell does everybody care that... - Dan.
I'm fine.
What do you think?
- About what? - About the banner.
I like it.
- Do you? - It's a good banner.
You don't think it's on the nose?
- "Welcome back"? - Yeah.
I think it's precise.
- Really? - Yes.
- Thank you. - There's an economy of language.
Oh, and that's unusual for me,
like I'm the one who can't shut up?
- Dana... - You're damn right there's an economy of language.
I got the job done in two words,
and I think I can make another cut, yes.
We don't need "back."
We can cut the "back."
- Cut the "back"? - Yes.
- And have it just say, "Welcome"? - Yes.
- "Welcome"? - Do you have a problem with that?
- He'll think he just cleared customs. - He's got a point.
What if you add an exclamation point?
I'm going to get the cake.
- Also it should be a little higher on the right. - Shut up!
Two minutes to VTR. Three minutes live.
We're live in three minutes.
- Let me hear 'em... Continental Arena. - On one.
- Thompson-Boling. - Up on two.
- Trans World Dome. - They are coming.
- America West. - On four.
Dana, we're still waiting for Trans World Dome, but your team's on the field.
I think it's strange that Isaac isn't here.
When was he supposed to get in?
Uh, he said he'd be here well before the show started.
The show hasn't started yet.
Yeah, but he said he'd be here well before the show started.
It's now two minutes before the show is starting.
- Was he coming from the airport? - Yeah.
Maybe he stopped off.
- Where? - For a pretzel.
I'm serious. He was supposed to...
Well, he has been in Europe for 2 weeks. He hasn't had a decent pretzel.
Maybe he stopped off, and that was the cause for the delay.
And how long does it take to buy a pretzel?
Well, you've punctured a hole in my theory.
- Also Bobbi isn't here yet. - She called from the car.
- And? - Stopped off for a pretzel.
- Jeremy. - She's on her way in.
Roll VTR. 45 seconds live.
This day has got the earmarks, Casey.
Where's Rebecca? I ask you that.
She was gonna come by and hang out for a little bit,
yet she's down in her office hanging out with Steve Sisco.
But you're fine.
Rebecca isn't here. Isaac isn't here.
There's a strangeness about this day.
30 seconds live.
Eli's coming.
Eli?
From the Three Dog Night song.
Yes?
Eli is something bad, a darkness.
"Eli's coming. Hide your heart, girl."
Eli's an inveterate womanizer.
I think you're getting the song wrong.
I know I'm getting the song wrong,
but when I first heard it, that's what I thought it meant.
Things stick with you that way.
In 3... 2...
Good afternoon. From New York City,
I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell.
Lions, Tigers, and Bearcats! Oh, my!
We've got expanded coverage
of the NCAA men's basketball tournament,
A.K.A. "March Madness."
We'll be taking you to Knoxville, East Rutherford, and St. Louis,
where the Jayhawks are about to tip-off,
and we want to bring you up to date on some developments out in Phoenix.
So we're gonna take you to the America West Arena right after this.
You're watching a special Saturday expanded edition of "Sports Night" on CSC.
We're just getting started, so stick around.
We're out.
Two minutes back.
They say it's always calmest before the storm.
That's not true.
I'm a serious sailor.
It isn't calm before the storm. Stuff happens.
Look who's here.
Hi, Casey.
Hey, Bobbi.
Hello, Dan.
Eli's coming.
How are you doin'?
I'm fine, Dan.
I'm doing fine.
In 3... 2...
Hello again.
We'll send you back to Knoxville in just a moment,
but first I'm joined by CSC analyst Bobbi Bernstein.
Bobbi, is Virginia's first-half press a surprise to anyone?
Dan, the Cavs came out on defense doing exactly what they said they'd do,
and that's contain Martin McMurtry.
Let's go to the first-half videotape, where you could see...
What do you know?
They said his plane landed four hours ago.
And there's no answer at the house?
No.
Dana, no kidding.
Saturday night, coming in from JFK,
if he took the Triboro, four hours wouldn't be a record.
Yeah, okay.
Elliott, call the airline. Call Heathrow.
- See if he got on the plane. - Okay.
...down by six with McMurtry posting up,
and the defense just collapses on him.
That's what Virginia's been doing all season, Dan,
and that's what Georgia Tech is gonna see all night long.
And how's Rebecca's ankle?
I'm sorry.
Rick... O'Brien... how's Rick O'Brien's ankle?
X-rays are negative, and O'Brien could see some action in the second half.
Thanks very much.
Bobbi Bernstein will be with us throughout the evening
as we send you back to Thompson-Boling Arena in Knoxville, Tennessee.
We're out.
Sorry about that.
Don't worry about it.
It's hard not to notice you're a little calmer than usual.
Look, Danny...
I know you're worried I'm gonna go turbo on you.
It's really okay.
- What's really okay? - It.
- It? - Yes.
Bobbi, I don't think...
I don't know why you're pretending you don't remember.
You're obviously not addleminded.
Let's just forget it.
No, let's not forget it.
You know, I've done enough rotten things to women I like.
There's no question I'm going straight to hell.
I don't really need you padding the ballot box.
- Dan... - The reason I never called you after sleeping with you in Spain
is that I've never slept with you in Spain.
And the reason I never slept with you in Spain is that I've never been to Spain.
And the next time you bring this up,
you better be on with the photograph of me
in a hotel room with you in Spain.
That's me.
Yes. Can you read what it says on the towel?
"Hotel de Espana"?
Yes.
- The Hotel de Espana is in Spain? - Yes.
Can I have that picture back now?
Wait a second.
That's me. That's me in this picture...
- but that's not you. - Yes, it is.
- No, it's not. I know this girl. - Yeah.
- Mnh-mnh. I know this girl. - Yes.
Her name's Roberta.
Oh, holy cow.
Bobbi Bernstein. Nice to meet you.
Bobbi, this looks nothing like you. I-I...
Yeah.
I mean...
I turned into quite the babe, didn't I?
Look, I... I mean, I...
- Honestly, I... - Yeah.
- My ankle's fine. - Hey!
Put some ice on it, shot me up with cortisone, and I'm good to go.
This is Rebecca Wells. She works downstairs. Bobbi Bernstein.
- Hi. - Nice to meet you.
You have time for coffee?
Nat, do I have a little time?
4 1/2 minutes.
I'm gonna look at tape.
Yeah.
- Can I make you a sandwich? - No, thanks.
- In fact, I really didn't even want coffee. - We have espresso and cappuccino.
- What I meant was... - And due to a budget surplus, I can now offer you latte.
- Dan... - But it's gonna look and taste an awful lot like the espresso and cappuccino.
- Danny. - In there.
Was that weird for you?
Seeing Steve Sisco in your office?
- Yes. - No.
- Really? - Yes.
- It wasn't? - No.
- It wasn't weird for you? - No.
It was weird for me.
- Don't you want to ask me why he was there? - No.
- Really? - It's none of my business.
- It's a little your business. - We've been dating for two weeks.
He was in my office on a Saturday.
Why does everyone care it's Saturday?
Would it have been okay if he'd been in your office on a Tuesday?
- I mean... - Would it?
It's none of my business.
So you don't want to know why he was in my office on a Saturday?
No.
Why was he in your office on a Saturday?
Danny, Steve and I aren't divorced.
You're not?
No.
You're married?
We're separated.
I see.
- Are you upset? - No.
- Really? - Yes.
Eh, get away from me with that thing, huh?
Of course I'm upset.
What, are you nuts? Huh?
Are you... are you just some nutty nut girl who's nuts?
There's a difference between divorced and separated.
One is divorced, the other is separated.
That's why they have those names.
I never imagined in a building populated by me, you, Dana, Casey, Jeremy, Natalie,
Bobbi Bernstein would turn out to be the sanest person here.
Separated means you're thinking about getting divorced.
It also means you're thinking about not getting divorced.
- Are you finished? - No, I'm not finished.
Yes, I'm finished.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
If it's any consolation, I never felt like I was lying.
I felt like I was withholding the truth.
Yeah, that's a huge consolation, Rebecca.
Dan, 60 seconds.
So, what was he in your office for, huh?
It was nothing, right? He just stopped by?
- He wants to go to counseling. - Let me tell you something.
That guy could use some counseling.
I mean he is... among other things ...an inveterate womanizer,
not unlike the title character from the song by Three Dog Night...
if you choose to look at it that way, which I don't.
I see it as a portent of something dark,
but that's not what you meant by counseling.
No.
He wants to go to couples counseling?
Yes.
With you?
Yes.
I gotta go back on the air.
- Danny... - Just a second.
I'll be right back.
- We're in the studio in 20. - Stand by, 14.
Stand by, F/X-A-1, apple-1.
What's the rule on when do you call the police?
Well, at my house it was 15 minutes after school let out.
In 3... 2...
So much basketball, so little time.
We're gonna bring you some first-half highlights of Memphis/Cincinnati
before we toss you out to the America West Arena,
but, first, a paid commercial announcement
from one of our many sponsors.
You're watching a special expanded edition
of "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
- We're out. - Don't anybody go too far.
Hang on a second. I feel stupid.
I'll be right back.
- I'm saying five more minutes. - Till what?
- Till I call the police. - Okay.
- Hey. - Hey, Casey.
Hey, Jeremy.
Boy, it's been a long time since I've been in here during a show.
I can't tell you how much we've missed you.
Thank you.
So, what are you guys doing?
Sometimes it's a little hard to tell.
I think the show is going well.
- Do you? - Yes.
'Cause your approval is important to me.
Dana, whatever we're gonna do, can we not do it in front of the help?
I'll be right outside.
Three minutes back.
What's the problem?
- Let me off the hook. - For what?
You know for what.
- I don't. - You do.
- I really don't. - You really do.
You dumped the show off to Sally.
It was after 1:00 in the morning.
That's right.
Fedrigotti took it to a fifth set, Casey.
The match was never gonna end.
- Plus Gordon was here. - Yes.
- And Gordon was mad. - Yes.
So you dumped off the show.
I handed it off.
- For Gordon. - Yes.
- And you want me to let you off the hook? - Yes.
Well, later, when there's time, I'll see if I can let you off the hook.
Right now there's not time to let you off the hook. Right now there's our show.
You'll let me know if something more important comes along, right?
Yeah.
- Casey... - I'm there.
What's going on?
I want so badly to rip his face off!
In 10!
Rebecca!
Did you think I'd left?
I was looking for you.
I wouldn't have.
Listen, there's something I forgot to tell you before.
What?
If you want to work on repairing your marriage,
I will, in whatever way you want, support that.
Really?
Yeah.
Really.
I think I'd rather not think about it any more today.
That's okay, too.
Thanks.
He's such a bad guy, Rebecca.
I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I know these things.
I'm not that good myself.
Can I stay here and watch you on TV?
Yeah, sure.
8 for 12 from the field, perfect from the line,
he leads all scorers with 31 points,
besting his regular season average by five.
Back to Larry and George.
We're out.
What's up?
- McMurtry... 5 for 5 from the arc. - He's looking good.
I got to get my head in the game. I've been out of it all day.
- Dan, it's you and me next, right? - Yeah.
- Want to go over some stuff? - Yeah.
You want to take a look at this?
No, I better go talk to her.
I've got some pretty compelling stats from the Duke game,
so if you ask me about North Carolina's bench...
What a jerk I was.
Uh, to who?
To you.
I should have called you.
If my not calling you
made you feel like any less than what you are, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
All right.
So, I'm gonna start you off on the North Carolina bench?
Yeah.
Oh, like he's never made his personal life a priority.
Well, I guess we won't count the 10 years that he was married to Lisa,
and I had to stand around and watch that.
- And who the hell is he to judge... - Dana...
- No, I-I really don't understand this. - I-I know...
Who in the hell is he to judge the quality of my relationship with Gordon?
Dana.
Oh, excellent.
'Cause I'm due for another scolding.
Dana...
Isaac's at Columbia Presbyterian. He had a stroke.
W-What?
Isaac had a stroke at the airport.
- I don't know any more than that. - Oh, my God.
I have to go tell Danny.
30 seconds back.
I need a drink of water.
Coaching vacancies would be good for the seven block, but I can tease it right now.
Okay.
- Dan... - Yeah.
Isaac had a stroke.
♪ Eli's comin' ♪
Is it bad?
♪ Eli's comin' ♪ We'll go to the hospital after the show.
Is it bad?
Yeah.
In 10.
You okay?
♪ Girl, you'd better hide ♪ Yeah.
- Danny? - Casey, I'm fine.
♪ Your heart ♪ In 3... 2...
Welcome back.
♪ Your lovin' heart ♪ If you're joining us from East Rutherford,
I'm joined once again by CSC analyst Bobbi Bernstein.
♪ Eli's a-comin' and the cards say ♪ Bobbi, let's talk about the North Carolina bench.
♪ Oh, broken heart ♪ Nine players, averaging at least six points a game.
Larry Rambis, back from the hamstring...
♪ Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl ♪ Which gives the Tar Heels?
♪ Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl ♪ Another 7.2 rebounds per game...
♪ Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ♪ I think it's worth mentioning they've got
♪ Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ♪ four underclassmen who are averaging...
♪ Girl, Eli's a-comin' you'd better hide ♪
♪ Girl, Eli's comin' hide your heart, girl ♪
♪ Hide it ♪
♪ You better, better hide your heart ♪